I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
