Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
