I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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