his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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