i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
