I love black thongs
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
