Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
