he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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