I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
