but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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