Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i need some magic done to my vagina
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
