I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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