I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
