.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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