I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
