the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
