i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I heard we made out
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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