I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
