found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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