Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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