"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
