And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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