that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
nutella sex= disaster
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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