So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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