Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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