Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
