just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Watching her eat just hurts me
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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