Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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