You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
