Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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