4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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