I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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