I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
