Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
