He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
