that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
