Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
