Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
