Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
