good thing vaginas are great cup holders
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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