We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
