the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
