"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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