Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
