i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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