He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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