Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I can't turn off my feet"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
