I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
