Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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