i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
